Fffffffing Friday (4th) 14-May 2021

OK. Weekend Members miss out. But did you see the forecast post Friday?

As it happens it was still pretty cold although forecast favourable.

It seems some are not receiving the email Bobbie sent out re this Run. let us know if you are aware of any.

We met at Clyde Valley, and again, Johnny worked out a fab route to Thornhill, which included the Dalveen Pass- ya Bass

Met Drew without his crew for a splendid lunch. We then followed the local yokel (Drew) again through fab if challenging roads to St. Johns of  Dalry for fuel.

Old fart John decided to head home at this stage. The other idiots (who hadn’t checked the forecast for the South West, decided to head for more eats at New Galloway. Doom and gloom. It pissed relentlessly thereafter. My heart pumped piss for them! Really.

VERY enjoyable. The route back towards Ayr is great. The M77 not so much.


What a View! Friday 30th April 2021

This was the 3rd Friday in a row attached to a great weather forecast- weren’t we lucky?

On balance yes- but it was Baltic. Battery operated socks and under gilet notwithstanding- did I mention it was Baltic?

Met at Milton for a change and were pleased to see Aly & Fiona there.

The five of us headed for Arrochar to meet Ronnie and Angus. Unfortunately, the Hallowed Institution of Tarbet Cafe is now no more (Betty, who owned the old Post Office & the Cafe is now in a care home)- those were the days, my friend—

In Arrochar is the Pit Stop. Nice enough people but outside eating—- did I mention it was freezing?

Off then via the Rest, open with Traffic Lights- how is Scotland supposed tp pay for this never-ending financial hole, alongside 2 Ferries & Prestwick Airport? I ask you.

Lovely run via Strachur to just short of Colintraive and up to the magic viewpoint overlooking the 3 Lochs. Fab Views

After much oohs and aahs, we turned back & headed for the Colintraive Hotel for lunch. Despite all the regulations, they made us very welcome, gave us a room to ourselves, and provided an excellent lunch. Must visit there again and again?Photos by J.G – Bobbie & Google.

With Bobbie leading, off through the hills and valleys to Dunoon and Western Ferries. Fairly quiet, but you should have seen the cars waiting to go the other way, this being a Holiday Weekend.

Most went home via the Southern route. Your writer thru Greenock etc. Solid traffic from Airport East all the way to the M80. Dodging thru the traffic, always has it’s perils.

A grand day out.

NOW- Club Meeting on Monday in Uplawmoor Church Car Park. Be there, despite shitty forecast.


Freedom 16th and 23rd April 2021

Quote- It’s not the end, nor is it the beginning of the end, rather it is the end of the beginning.

Yahoo- we finally got out Officially- no mention of others- what others?

On the first of these Fridays, JG had worked out a route almost sans traffic for most of the way. 

Starting in ASDA B’riggs, over the Campsies, Kippen, Thornhill and Doune. In Doune, the main hotel was closed but had left out the tables & benches for our benefit.

So we sat in the sun having a chat as one does, watching a dog going through it’s paces- stupid mutt.

Then via Cromlix House to Braco and the long winding road to Cultybraggan, but Horrors of Horrors, our special outdoor loo was being restored to its former use, a tin can. So, on to Crieff and lo and behold, the loo was open with running water as well as piss!

So again we were favoured by the Gods, Tullybannocher shed was closed but benches were left out for us. They even had a wooden train for our Fat Controller to play with. Sunshine and motorbikes whizzing past- ahh, just like the good old days!

Johnny then took over and ever so gently led us to Lochearnhead and Callander. He & Bobby went over the Duke’s Pass and then home.

Have to say, we were amazed at the lack of traffic, given it was the first day of a significant reduction in restrictions. Roll on next Friday


Friday 23rd April.

Again, Members of the Club were noted for their absence. No MOTs, even for the bikes. What a shower!

However, so much the better, as it turned out. We met Bobbie en route to Galston (he had a Covid Test). Johnny then took us on a most fabulous route, some 50 plus miles to Straiton. Wonderfull roads- WELL DONE YOU.

We met the real bikers then, Drew’s Crew and had a splendid lunch in the field behind the pub, in the very hot sunshine. John even switched off the batteries in his socks and gilet!

Loadsa chat and updated stories, some good, some not so good. We’re getting older, and it shows, unfortunately. We need fresh blood or certainly a doze of Viagra!

Nevertheless, an exciting journey to Newton Stewart for more coffee & eats and sunshine. Loads of it. Suitable seating left out for us again. We split there & the Northeners went home via New Galloway and back roads till 10 miles short of Glasgow. Traffic there was as per pre Covid- no change- who is working from home?

So far, no progress re getting use of our Clubhouse yet. Johnny is going to try to persuade them to let us meet outside if we can get access to the kitchen and loo. You will be advised

Next run, we’ll advertise properly. Please turn up & keep the Club running- ie., fingers out.


Meeting at Church Uplawmoor. Car park only. Wee before you leave home.

Covid Inspired Run 20th Sept 2020

First of all- my error, noticed by Die Dachen (Mrs G). Michael Fish, not Malcolm Fish or thereby.

Again, weather NOT as advised by BBC. Poor Fiona  & Aly in leather trousers as no rain in Helensburgh when they left. Not so in Glasgow area, but not throwing it down

Johnny led from Newton Mearns, via the old A77, to Kilmarnock & then (no choice) M77 to South of Ayr.. Turned towards Dalmellington, then the fabulous Road to Carsphairn. Cafe closed so off to Moniaive to Thornhill for lunch.

More climaxes as we went via the Dalveen Pass to Abington for fuel & thence to the Clyde Valley via great roads, and to Gouldings new place, Valley View. Great atmosphere & food AND Company. Again we missed Sorearse at the last loop as his BMW 1000 RRRR has a plank for a seat. He, hopefully, has finally ordered some Gel Pants

Difficult times, but you can, with a bit of effort & discipline get to enjoy yourself.A few Dalveen Pass photos.


Covid 19 Run 15th September 2020

This was supposed to take place in VERY sunny weather, as forecast even as late as the day before.

As luck had it, Malcolm Fisher returned from his retirement to put the mockers on it.

It was fair stotting when rising and no sooner had the writer taken his waterproofs out, the bold Johnny rang to inform he had a number of call-offs and the Run was cancelled. I replied that there might be tougher members waiting and we would have to turn up in case there were such idiots.

Sure enff, one had travelled some 200 miles to be there (Kenny Hair,) and Dave McDonald and his colleague Ron were also present.

We gave our apologies and buggered off- no we didn’t!

We felt it would be useful to see how we got on in the cafe under the new Covid restrictions. The Staff were up to speed, and confirmed, 2 max to each table as a Group & sit well apart. As can be seen, this worked out fine-  although, if there were 20 of us we would take up the whole place, which we did, in any case.

The 2 Car drivers (Johns) returned to the bosoms of their families, and the others, I understand, just farted about.

Provisionally, next Run, Sunday 20th Sept. Keep a look out




Double Header 8th & 9th August 2020



No sooner that, under instruction, I advised by Web AND email the there would be a Club Run on Sunday, then that Monster invited Me to join a number going on the Saturday, as well. So another email inviting all.

Well, you should have heard Die Drachen (dragon), Jan Galloway- well you might have done if you were only 10 miles away- no way Hose!

So Saturday seemed the better option for me. We 7 met at B’riggs & then to Canal 49 near Linlithgow. Despite all the hassle re Covid, they did a good job with real plates etc. We sat outside (note Ron) and it was ab fab. We could have stayed there all day. Some Clever Clogs had voted to go up the East Fife Coast (I thought he was mad!)

Sure enough, after waiting 10 minutes (despite jumping the queues), we finally got onto the Queensferry Crossing. Common sense then prevailed & Johnny led us via Knockhill, Braco to Crieff (traffic was not bad) and the Garden Centre at the 30 MPH limit. It was deadly quiet, but very enjoyable. Again we didn’t eat like heathens, and again outside- perfect. By the way, the weather was glorious.

Then the decision to go the reverse route home- namely by Aberfeldy, Kenmore, Killin, where we stopped for the same reason Ian had abandoned us at Crieff- Ian Hamiltonitis- AKA sore bum syndrome.

Since the A81 was partially closed we were forced to go by Kilmahog thru the Trossachs, Duke’s Pass to Aberfoyle, where the remainder (Minus Les) indulged ourselves, OUTSIDE again, Ron. Food was very good, the toilets distinctly suspect.

Have to say, one of the most enjoyable days out  made perfect by the weather and the company, especially the ladies who gave us a air of respectability.



This was the original official Day Out, ruined, to an extent by the Run the day before

However, the lads, as can be seen, had a great time. Tarbert, Green Welly, towards Oban and lunch at Poppies, one of our favourite spots, great views.

A burst down to Lochgilphead, which might not have been a dawdle.

The Run could have been spoiled as Grumpy had last serviced his bike 10 years ago. and as a result, oil had escaped from the clutch housing, meaning he’s had a swollen left wrist ever since.

Apparently, engine oil in the Clutch is not as terminal as anticipated & he got home OK. Bike still not serviced.

They returned by Dunoon and the Western Ferry. Seemed the last day of Summer???


Midweek Run 29th July

A Wednesday full of Eastern Promise but we went Souih actually.

Met at Waitrose Car Park, Newton Mearns, which is quite handy for a meet-up. Johnny had arranged to meet our Border friends in Thornhill, so that’s the route we took- a LONG way, but other than the Kilmarnock to Thornhill stretch it was quite good.

Not so clever was a Focus driver, who seemed intent on killing Johnny & then himself a couple of times. We were seriously concerned & surprised we didn’t come across his remains further on. Shades of Grumpy’s experience going toward Dunoon on one of our Runs.

Sure enuff, we met Drew & Nigel in Thornhill & had lunch there. A glorious day, after a coolish start.

From Thornhill the marvellous road via Moniaive to Carsphairn, where the T shop is now operating, after being closed for a while. Great outside area & quite Covid Friendly.

Johnny & the rest bar the writer went to Newton Stewart & the Galloway Forest for an extra 50 miles or so.

Could have done with a few more Members!

Peebleshire Run 12-7-20

This was the first formal & legit run for the Club post March. Therefore there was a learning element to the experience.

A reasonable turnout as can be seen. After contacting Gouldings, they advised that we cross the road to their other venue, Valley View, now renamed for this edition as “Happy Valley” – you will recall.

We marched towards the Entry only passage, where we were met by a Blond Police Sergeant who directed Weans & Mums to the right, and old farts to the left.

Then name, address, inside leg & phone number before enterering one at a time to order & part collect your drink and cardboard box, if goodies only. Then to the entrance to the outside sitting area supervised with all cleansing material as required. Collect your hot food from a separate table. Thereafter, normality.

That is until when going to the loo. Well worked out, but one at a time, spotless & entrance supervised. Exit by a dedicated path to the Exit only.

By the way, Irene is offering hair transplants using Willies Excess Hair at £1 per strand: for £500 you could look like Trump the Chump.

How are they supposed to make a living? I believe it’s called the New Norm!

The run itself was very enjoyable, via Biggar, Broughton, Peebles, Innerleithan, Yarrow AND, because Tibie Shiels was stowed out, direct to Moffat & eating OUTSIDE. Some brought sandwiches, others bought the likes of fish & chips (Willies came in a cardboard aquarium it was MASSIVE, with chips on the side). One other, sometimes referred to as Mein Fuhrer, had sandwiches AND bought chips etc!!!

We returned by the old A74, some blind riders missed their marker, others rejoined and one other overtook us by nipping up the M74. So just as normal.

Last Throw of the Dice (we hope) 27 June 20

We can now look forward to Motorcycling proper in a week’s time.

In this regard , subject to our Church Executive, we’ll have an outside Meeting on Monday 6th July, outside, at the usual time. (Remember midgies & Willie, smoke 3 pipes!

We also plan our first official Club Run on Sunday 5th July, aiming to go South and perhaps meeting in Abington (A74) at the Post Office cum outside Cafe, around 10.15. This will all be confirmed in due course.

Meanwhile, the Last Throw is below and we thank Grumpy for all his talented support throughout the last 4 Months

Spring Run 2006


Sunday Run 1986




Sunday Run 1986




Lockdown Special -almost @ Stage 2 8-6-20

Hi all

Some 30+ views, some of PAISLEY!!!, as well as others

A reminder of what’s round the corner.

These last 2 days No RIPs in Scotland, and Greater Glasgow has none in Intensive Care. Not so in the Lothians- too much paddling in Portobello methinks.

Keep smiling or gritting your teeth. Johnny has a cunning plan for us to at least see each other. Let’s await the Maestro